As I was taking a shower earlier, with Time After Time covered by Iron and Wine playing in the background on repeat, I decided that I needed to document what was running through my head as the shower happened.
Forgiveness. I’d like to talk about forgiveness.
I think there hasn’t been too many instances in my life where I had to (really) forgive someone. I am not talking about petty wrongs that people had done unto me, but rather, grievances that I had to live with for a matter of months and years. I had a little moment of epiphany earlier – letting go of that anger and hate was also me letting that part of me holding on to that negativity free. It does not come with any conditions; it does not matter what the relationship between me and that person is like, it does not matter whether that person is still in my life, it does not matter what that person thinks of me. Letting that anger and animosity go, is me setting myself free.
I think it is almost selective amnesia in action. I’ve always thought that selective amnesia must be the body’s natural defence against unhappiness. “Is it delusional then – if you are just choosing to forget whatever “wrong” people had done unto you?” You might ask.
Are those who had “wronged” always entirely at fault? How often had we really put our selves aside and be in other’s shoes instead? There is always two sides to every story, isn’t it? And we’re always more drawn to that side that puts us in the good light. Perhaps we were misled. Perhaps we were mistaken. Perhaps it was ego. Perhaps it was a moment of folly. Perhaps it was curiosity. Perhaps it was greed. Perhaps because we were all human and it is human to err.
I will look pass your anger. I will look pass your negligence. I will look pass your absence. I will look pass your silence. I will look pass your wrongs.
I do not even wish for you to forgive my anger, negligence, absence, silence and wrongs. All I wish for you is peace. And love. Really. And all these are done in love. I do not know how to love in all its righteousness, but I do know that love keeps no record of wrongs.