Comments 13

How To Be Successful

Screen shot 2013-05-21 at AM 07.59.46

It is really happening.

Today, 9 months and 14 days after we started an online store selling tiramisu, we made a big decision.
We are going to start a cafe. OUR very own!

I am scared. Petrified, to be honest.
This is going to be the biggest step I have taken in my life and something I put my whole self into.
As thrilled as I can be, I cannot help but worry about all the possibilities about the shop failing,
and us losing everything we have built so far.

We are at the point where we are at the end of a cliff, waiting for the next step.
We have wings but we are not sure if they can make us fly.
But if we stay put in this comfort zone and waiting for someone to build a bridge for us,
for someone to make things happen, we will never know if we can take flight.

This has been such a steep learning curve and I think I have never worked so hard in my life before.
It is too big a deal for me and I cannot afford to let it fail.

And as I was freaking out, A spoke to me.
What she said makes hell lot of sense to me and I would love to share it with everybody here.
Because everybody needs a pep talk every once in a while.

The truth is, not everyone is born to be successful – not until they are aware of what makes a successful person.
And when I say successful, I do not measure it only with monetary value but with the various aspects in life.
Success is not measure in wealth.
Success is measured in self gratification.
Happiness can be a success.
A sense of achievement can also be a kind of success.

Success or failure is a byproduct of a person’s personality.
Everything from how you feel, to how you think,
to how you behave determines whether you can achieve your goals.

Everyone loves their comfort zone.
But people who are successful are those who are aware that they are getting too comfortable in their comfort zones,
and try to go beyond it.
Others who didn’t and stay in their comfort zones, and will always remain where they were.

Everybody is lazy.
We are all hard-wired to be lazy so don’t feel too guilty about it.
The thing is, laziness is not always something negative and this would depend on how you look at it.
Laziness can be something that will make you sit in front of the computer for hours until
it has gotten too late to go out to do what you were supposed to do in the first place.
But laziness can also be the driving force that will make you finish up your work
just so you know you can be even lazier after.
The difference between a successful person and one who is not, is the ability to identify the urge to be lazy –
and doing the right thing about it.
All you need to do is to REALIZE that you are lazy. And to make the right decision despite this urge.

Everyone has dreams and ambitions.
But ask ourselves how badly we want to achieve our dreams and ambitions.
The person who would love to be to able to travel the world with a backpack one day is less likely to achieve his goals
compared to the person who FUCKING WANTS to travel the world with a backpack one day.
The greater your ambitions are, the more likely you are able to reach there.
Be aware of your ambition, and remind yourself.
But dreams and ambitions has to be realistic and energy has to be put into the right things.
Liking a celebrity very much will probably make you really good in that field –
maybe you will become the fan club president or something.
But the type of things you are ambitious for will largely determine what you are successful in in life.

Everybody has an ego.
Ego is the part of you that reacts to the outside world.
No one person is egoistic towards him or herself.
Some of us have lower self esteem.
Low self esteem is the difference between our current self and our ideal self – the wider this gap, the lower the esteem.
People with low self esteem are less likely to step out because
they are already putting themselves at a point of low adequacy at the starting point.
To be successful, raise your self esteem.
To raise your self esteem, set short term and realistic goals to gain confidence.
Confidence will give you a higher self esteem.

Everybody is self-centered.
But sometimes we forget that we are self-centered because we are too caught up in being self-centered.
I know this statement sounds ridiculous but it made sense to me after I read it again.
Whenever we are feeling tired and comfortable, or in an unpleasant state,
our subconscious takes over and put ourselves in the center of the world.
And we become blind to people and things happening around us.
We need to learn to be aware of our feelings and realize this feeling of self-centeredness.

To make sound decisions, we have to identify our emotional state.
People who are less likely to succeed are those who let their hearts lead,
they have a higher possibility of giving in to short term desires that are sometimes not the best choice.

In this day and age, education is no longer the key to success simply because we are all educated.
Knowledge and information is constantly changing.
The new literacy in this world is the ability to be aware of change, and to change oneself to adapt, to improve.
If one is able to adapt, one will be able to step up above the rest.

P.S. The irony. This person who gave the speech committed suicide in 2008 due to severe depression.
OK. Time to go back to the real world and get down to work.

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This entry was posted in: Reflections


Peggy is an independent blogger from Singapore who has a penchant for impromptu travel plans and good caffe lattes. She is the co-owner of two little cafes, The Tiramisu Hero and Butter My Buns, and hopes to be able to see the world someday; one stop at a time.


  1. Jialin says

    Dear Peggy and Aileen!
    You will definitely succeed. and because success is a decision and you made it, look forward to the very special tiramisuhero shop! πŸ˜€


  2. gutsyklutz says

    Congrats! Been a lurker and this post brought me out of my hidden cyber corner. Wise words from Aileen, btw!!!

    I’d just like to say that the person who gave the speech probably committed suicide due to depression, but what was said in the speech still made a hell load of sense, depression or not πŸ˜€


  3. mich says

    Good one! Very meaningful indeed.
    Hope ur venture together with Aileen will be a huge success!


  4. Julia says

    It takes guts to venture out and do something that you can really own. But weirdly enough, some people i know who have low self-esteem try harder than those with high self-esteem, probably because they have less pride to lose, or are more driven to prove themselves?


  5. IZ says

    Congratulations and do tell when your cafe is up. Not one to post comments but this speech compelled me to leave a comment. It takes guts and whole lot of them to venture into the unknown, and your journey made me realize that I must start mine now. I have been following your blog, your ups and downs… I have to say this is the happiest state I’ve seen you in. All the best in your next adventure!


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