It is always easy to list down the items you have on your Bucket List; easy to tell people around you that one has to live life to the fullest and you have probably read a thousand and one article on Facebook telling you specifically the things to avoid doing (or do) if you don’t want to grow old with regrets.

Does living life to the fullest everyday really makes us feel like we have the world?

“To live a few years of my life like most people won’t, so that I can live the rest of it like most people can’t.”

I have heard this quote once and I find it hard to forget. Often when I find myself slipping away, trying to find excuses for myself so that I can take a little time off from work, I repeat this quote in my head. It makes a lot of sense to me. Except, now I finally realised I’ll need to survive the “living a few years of my life like most people won’t” part to reap what I sow.

I find it hard to live life to the fullest. It has reached a point where I believe no single person can live life to the fullest without some sacrifices. How can one possibly make time for family and friends, do mad well at work and still have time for oneself to do a bit of self-loving and a bit of mental spring-cleaning? No one ever told me that living some aspects of my life to the fullest means killing many other aspects of it with my very own hands.

I don’t want to live a few years of my life like most people won’t.

Caught myself feeling direction-less these days; going through day-to-day work and errands to get by. So much so that I have forgotten that my work partner is also the person whom I am having a romantic relationship with. All work no play makes Jack a dull boy, and Peggy a dull girl.

Yesterday’s dinner was at NOX, this restaurant where you dine in complete darkness. Our server, Rahmat (I’m certain I have spelt his name incorrectly) is visually impaired. But in the darkness, I instantly became the worried and cautious one. He cruised around the dining room with so much confidence, and gave me directions with so much conviction and assurance. I forgot that he couldn’t see. The dinner lasted no more than 40 minutes, but dining in the dark has actually, no pun intended, opened my eyes to many things. We should become blind once in a while; to learn how to look beyond a person’s appearance and behaviour, to learn how to listen properly, and to feel everything present around us. We should all be stripped of that damn cellphone, and see if there is still things to be said to each other when you don’t have that funny video or photo on the phone to share. When was the last time I had a good conversation I truly enjoyed? It is an art when two people who know each other so well can still find deep, intellectual things to talk about. When once you find this person whom you have such profound connection with, you grab that person tight, and don’t ever lose sight of that beautiful future you two might have together. But of course, there is a balance in everything – sensible amount of concern inquisition vs possessiveness, freedom vs disinterest, being jealous vs lack of faith. No such thing as Love Guru because everybody is different. We just gotta find out how every relationship works. Join me, I am figuring it out too.

It takes effort from two to maintain a connection – it’s beyond having meals together and sleeping on the same bed. I have no choice but to agree, for the first time, that it is not easy for a couple to professionally work together. It’s beyond good time management and ability to separate work from personal. It’s a mystery how people did that. People change over time, and it does not only come with age but also with personal experiences in life and at work, interaction with people, with power invested in one over others.

Behind closed doors at home, is The Queen still a queen, or a just a wife to his King?
God Save The Queen, they say.
What about the King?