Reflections
Comments 5

My Grandparents

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I visited my uncle’s place last weekend and came across a photo album with all the old photos.
The first time I laid eyes on these photos, I froze.
Because I see my Grandma came back to life again.
She was young. And very beautiful.

Amongst all the discussions with my uncles and aunties about how my Grandma was only 19 when this photo was taken,
and about how much my Mom really looks like my Grandma,
a frightful thought dawned upon me –
my Grandma was once like me, young and free, thinking she would be young forever.

I don’t know whether I will bore you to tears with this post.
For me, I enjoyed listening to stories about the older generations.
My uncles and aunts told me they used to wake up in the morning with bleeding toes because they were bitten by mice
They also told me about how my Mom was rebellious enough
to steal her passport and go Japan for half a year with her then-boyfriend.
One that left the deepest impression on me is the one about
my Mom’s then-boyfriend committing suicide after he was, allegedly, possessed.
My Mom told me he started putting on nail polish and stuff, dressed differently,
and it ended when he jumped off the kitchen window in his flat.
It really freaked me out.
And I cannot imagine it happening to someone close to me, it must have been hard for my Mom back then.

Well, moving on, I’m not writing this entry to tell you guys some of the boring stories my uncles and aunts shared.
It is just something I want to put in my blog as part of my story – something to remember.

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My grandparents, like many of your grandparents, met in an arranged marriage.
They did not have the chance to date before the wedding day, in fact they did not even know each other.
And it amazes me how can anybody marry someone they do not know.

My grandparents remained strong in their marriage all their lives until they passed.
What amazes me more is how this two people can stick to each other through thick and thin,
and brave all storms together after marriage.
When that thought came into my head, I pondered.
And I thought about how volatile marriages and relationships are now compared to the marriages made a few decades ago.
When they face problems in the past, they deal with it together and they can conquer anything.
But these days, when we run into problems, we just tell ourselves that this person is probably not The One.
And then, we give up.

This fleeting thought was more than any random realization, it was a lesson learnt.
I guess this is one of the few aspects where we should remain old fashion.
Marriage and companionship is so precious.
What are the chances of finding someone who would love you the way you love him/her?
Whenever we run into problems, go right into the problem and conquer it.
Not run away from it.
Our grandparents did it, their parents did it.
And why envy other old couples who stick to each other throughout their lives when we can also make that happen for ourselves?
If we don’t learn how to deal with problems, even a relationship with The One would end up in ruins.

It has been more than 6 months since Grandma left us.
And there is not one day which I will not think of her –
there would always be some thing or some scene that would remind me of her.
I am thankful that she can still teach me this precious lesson even though she is no longer around.

I wish I knew my Grandpa better.

That aside, I want to say that I really love the gown my Grandma is wearing!
Isn’t it gorgeous?
I love the sleeves with the flower details.

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I dug out a couple pictures of my Mom when she was young.
My Mom really looks like Grandma!

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Thanks for the valuable lesson, Ah Ma.
May you be at peace, wherever you are.
Love you.

This entry was posted in: Reflections

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Peggy is an independent blogger from Singapore who has a penchant for impromptu travel plans and good caffe lattes. She is the co-owner of two little cafes, The Tiramisu Hero and Butter My Buns, and hopes to be able to see the world someday; one stop at a time.

5 Comments

  1. Ynez says

    hahaha! i told your mum her eyes were much bigger cause she showed me her baby photos. haha!

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  2. vivou says

    Love this post, Peggy! Touches le heart in a simple way, yet a thought that will revisit my mind once in a while, especially when seeing an old couple holding hands! Love, love, love!

    P.S. U n ur mom…… ็›ธไผผๅบฆ 99.8%!!!!!

    Like

  3. huishan says

    It’s utterly disappointing that in our generation we are able to choose our spouses yet there are still so many broken r/s whereas in our grandparents’ generation they had no say in choosing their spouses yet they are capable manning the r/s their whole lifetime. I say, just learn to love The One you are with in all possible and impossible ways. And I understand how you still miss your granny. I still miss my granddad who passed away 11 years ago.. And I still love him dearly, he is the reason why I believe love surpasses life & death, and I guess this is true love..? They really live in your heart.. (:

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